3 year ago we said goodbye to this little angel. She was so beautiful. She was perfect. She was ours. We loved her with everything we had. We gave her everything we could. We did everything suggested by her medical team and even still after 7 short days we lost her. 3 years doesn't seem like a long time but it already feels like forever since I held my first born in my arms. It feels like forever since I held her and rocked her and worried so much over her comfort. Watching the videos we have of Cali today made me realize somethings. She was tiny. Even at 8lb 6.5oz she was still a little baby. Cali never felt small to me. That makes me sad. I had never thought I'd want anyone in the delivery room except the doctors and Thomas but I am so so grateful that mom and Carrie got stuck and stayed. Carrie recorded Cali's birth (from above my shoulder) and I am so so grateful that we have that. It keeps my connection to Cali and I love it. 3 years ago we let her go. I miss her a lot today and last week her birthday was much more emotional than I expected. But day in and day out life moves on. I make a real effort to teach Summer that she has a sister and she loves the Cali books I've made, but like I was told early on grief is like waves, at first they come strong and often and soon they become less and less frequent. And that is the sad truth. I love my Cali girl. I wish more than anything to have her in my life. To watch her grow and play. To know her first words and her personality. But for now I just have my few cherished memories, pictures and videos. This is a favorite of mine. I hope you enjoy some of her sweetness.