Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I've fallen in love again!
First off I just want to say thank you to all of you! We have had quite the roller coaster experience since Cali's birth and being able to read your comments has been so helpful! Well, it's official...I'm a mom! And I love it! These last 3 days have been the longest of my life, so much going on. I've been trying to balance taking care of my body, spending time with my new little baby, managing visits, and trying to keep up with all the doctors and the plans for Cali. But with all of that they've been some of the most joyous times. We have had the BEST night with little Cali! It's now 11pm and I just gave Cali over to Thomas after holding her for about an hour and a half! Before getting to rock her in the chair we got to give her a little bath! She didn't appreciate it, but we sure did! I got to wash her hair, change her diaper, put some lotion on and just marvel at her tiny little body...a body that so recently was inside me! Tonight has by far been my favorite experience since being Cali's mom. When I held her Sunday morning after being told that her condition was inoperable and was given palliative care information, I didn't know how many more chances I'd get to hold my little girl. I was grieving while holding her. I was an emotional wreck, wanting to just keep her in my arms forever, but fighting the reality (at the time) that I had only limited time with her. But thanks to the diligence and talents of so many wonderful doctors tonight was different. Tonight I was just loving her, and enjoying her little sounds and that was just amazing. She is so beautiful and so sweet. She has had so many challenges already with so many more to come. But with her strength and resilience, coupled with the amazing care and abilities of the doctors I know that she can fight through the recovery. 3 years ago I first fell in love. And it's happening all over again! :)