Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I've fallen in love again!

First off I just want to say thank you to all of you! We have had quite the roller coaster experience since Cali's birth and being able to read your comments has been so helpful! Well, it's official...I'm a mom! And I love it! These last 3 days have been the longest of my life, so much going on. I've been trying to balance taking care of my body, spending time with my new little baby, managing visits, and trying to keep up with all the doctors and the plans for Cali. But with all of that they've been some of the most joyous times. We have had the BEST night with little Cali! It's now 11pm and I just gave Cali over to Thomas after holding her for about an hour and a half! Before getting to rock her in the chair we got to give her a little bath! She didn't appreciate it, but we sure did! I got to wash her hair, change her diaper, put some lotion on and just marvel at her tiny little body...a body that so recently was inside me! Tonight has by far been my favorite experience since being Cali's mom. When I held her Sunday morning after being told that her condition was inoperable and was given palliative care information, I didn't know how many more chances I'd get to hold my little girl. I was grieving while holding her. I was an emotional wreck, wanting to just keep her in my arms forever, but fighting the reality (at the time) that I had only limited time with her. But thanks to the diligence and talents of so many wonderful doctors tonight was different. Tonight I was just loving her, and enjoying her little sounds and that was just amazing. She is so beautiful and so sweet. She has had so many challenges already with so many more to come. But with her strength and resilience, coupled with the amazing care and abilities of the doctors I know that she can fight through the recovery. 3 years ago I first fell in love. And it's happening all over again! :)

11 comments:

The Mathews Family said...

Well of course we Orrock's fell in love with you 3 years ago, as well! I have been thinking so much about you these days and want you both Thomas and Ady to know how great you both are. HF sent a most special spirit to two very special people. Love you and we're so happy you have had these extra moments with Cali that you didn't initially anticipate having with her. We love you!
-Jessica

Angela said...

Sounds wonderful! Let us know about tomorrows procedures!

Melissa said...

I'm glad things have changed with cali's prognosis. It is such a rollercoaster! You are a great mom, and Cali is so lucky to have you and Thomas. Please, if you have questions or need anything, ask!!!

carolyn q said...

I am so glad that you have been able to have this wonderful time with her as many heart moms know the blessing it has been for you.
Just thought I would check in to see the latest. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
(Hugs)

The Standrings said...

i'm glad things are looking up and that you were just able to enjoy her. we continue to pray for you. we would love to see pics!

The Taylors said...

Isn't it wonderful? Being new parents! It is a bundle of joy filled with so many emotions. I am so glad you have such a positive spirit. It is so hard to deal with all of the things that come with having a heart baby. Praying little Cali continues to do very well and great with the surgery, these little things sure are fighters. Go Cali!!!

AzĂșcar said...

Thinking of your family and praying.

Bethany said...

i know how treasured those precious little moments are. and i'm so glad yall are getting some quality time with cali before her surgery! that is a blessing! i'm praying for her and for you and thomas tomorrow. thanks for keeping the blog updated. i look every day for updates! :)
lots of love,
bethany

Amanda and Steve said...

I am constantly looking for updates on Cali and I start crying after reading almost every one, sometimes for gratitude and sometimes for the sweetness of how you two feel about her. And it's also probably because I'm loving my own little baby more and more. And I love him even if he's recently decided it's fun to head butt his mommy in the gut. :-)

Christina said...

Your post is so sweet. What a blessing these little miracles are. Thinking of and praying for your family!

Hugs & Prayers,
Christina
Jacob's Momma

The Simmons Family said...

CONGRATS on baby Cali!!! I just read up the past few days and you have been through SO much! So surgery is on Thursday? We'll be praying for ya'll on that day. I remember it like it was yesterday, and can't believe it was 19 months ago. I thank Heavenly Father each day for our miracle Owen, his amazing doctors and for trusting me as his mother. There is nothing more wonderful than being a parent!

I am so happy for you!
Andrea